Dear Elder Slavens

Dear Elder Slavens

Elder Dallin J Slavens Cambodia Phnom Penh

Elder Chancellor J Slavens Idaho Twin Falls

Monday, June 15, 2015

If Only I Knew My Bible

FIRST OFF I WANNA GIVE A BIG DIGITAL SMOOCH TO DALLIN SLAVENS THE BIG PARTY BOY 'CAUSE HE'S ONE YEAR OLDER AND HOPEFULLY AT LEAST A LITTLE BIT WISER TOO SO HAPPY BIRTHDAY YOU OLD TOOT! 32D.gif

This week was lots of fun and hecka stressful and super chill and everything in between and all on the sides and stuff. It was crazy.
Without further adyou (is that right, Brandon?) lemme tell you about Tim. We went to the house of one of our recent converts this week and were greeted at the door by none other than Tim. We had never met Tim before but were excited to have the opportunity to talk to a new dude who might have some potential to be interested. The moment he sees our name tags he gets this wild creepy smile on his face and is all like "Oooh, this is gonna be fun." He's got a fat can of beer in his hand and he's not wearing a shirt and his eyes are freaky and I just wish I could form for you a proper picture of this guy. Anyway he proceeds into this rant about how the doctrinal views of Mormons are completely stupid and irrelevant because we don't believe Jesus Christ to be God when in fact we do. Now, keep in mind this is me typing this out, certainly not Tim. So I may make it sound smarter than it actually would have sounded. Tim's all like "Do you know your Bible?" We're like "Well we try our best." He's like "Who was the first apostle after Judas?" We're like "Matthew." He's like, "Uhm.. uh. YEAH SO EXACTLY LIKE PAUL WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE ONE AFTER JUDAS BUT MATTHEW WAS CHOSEN BY THE FLESH NOT BY GOD AND YOU MARMENS SUCK CUZ YOU DON'T THINK JESUS IS GOD." And he just kept going and going and spitting and he was drunk and ew. So I raised my hand like in elementary school to say something and he got all bewildered that I wanted to say something but he eventually calmed down enough to let be get in my two cents. I asked, "So, what exactly is it we're accomplishing here? Because I don't remember anywhere in the Bible where it says we should behave like this." And he just stopped. The spirit had bailed quite a bit back and that's probably one of the worst feelings for me so I was just like "Yeaaaah we're gonna leave" so we ditched. Bashers are the pits. And that's my story about Tim. You can share it for spiritual thoughts during FHE or something if you like.

We also had a fun experience this week helping one of our part-member families high-tail it out of their house because they were evicted. The housing complex they lived in has a super strict "no alcohol" policy because it's welfare housing, and the man of the house is a heavy alcoholic. So long story short the people found out and were like "well you have to be out of here by 4:00 3 days from now" and so everybody freaked out. They asked for our help and we went over and spent quite a bit of time helping them pack everything up and throw it out on the lawn. It was a complete mess. And the whole time the wife was like "Oh no, I'm gonna have a nervous breakdown" and she would sit down on the couch for 20 minutes to de-stress (I'm pretty sure it was just and excuse to not do anything). So yeah, I dunno this is a good story but it was quite an ordeal to live through. We eventually got the whole house out onto the front lawn and they put everything into a pickup and VROOM they were off. I'm not really sure where they are now but it was rather climactic!

We also have 2 other missionaries living with us right now because their bathroom is being gutted and re-gutted so you KNOW we're gonna watch Meet the Mormons and eat popcorn and chill super hard.

That's my life. If you just read that whole thing then I love you.

Elder Slavens

In the Zone


Going on a hike for FHE in pross. Look at us, we're such a big deal


This is Joe, my new best friend. I wish I could describe him to you.


Don't drink, it'll get you evicted and this will happen.

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