Dear Elder Slavens: My mind is an enigma

Sunday, August 2, 2015

My mind is an enigma

HEY HEY HEY! It's FAT ELDER! ACTUALLY. News update. So everyone prepare for this one. So I have moved areas! I moved from me sweet little town of Battambang (Battambang, land so sticky you can't take your heart out of it) to Kampong Cham. This place is wacko, man. It is TEENY TINY. But we are right by the world famous Mekong river, which my father informed me has man eating fish in it (according to the documentary he watched). All the houses here are on stilts because when it rains #EveryDay it floods. When it rains, IT POURS. But anyways, since I am new here, we have been going around meeting members and other people here that my new companion, Elder Beacco from Saint George, Utah, knows. And they are having troubles remembering my name here. But one of the first people I met heard "Elder Slavens", and told me it made him think of "Elder Slate". I asked what slate meant in Cambodian. He said there was a saying here "slate slaang, skom skeang". I asked what it means. It means pale, white, skinny and ugly as crap. SO AWESOME! So that is what everyone calls me here.

Last week was mega sad saying bye to all the people I was with for 4 and a half months in Battambang, but it is exciting to to move areas for the first time and meet new people. I met this one super old guy, who was so old I am pretty sure he thinks we know each other already. He asked me if I would tie for him before church, and as I was tying it on him, A TOOTH FELL OUT OF HIS MOUTH ONTO MY HAND!!!! It was so awesome! I had to pick it up and hand it to him, and then he TOSSED IT BACK INTO HIS MOUTH! So awesome.

I ain't got much more to say. If you want to know more, shame on you for not asking me personally. Go be a light to the world, people.

Peace.

Elder Pale White Skinny Piece of Crap