Dear Elder Slavens

Dear Elder Slavens

Elder Dallin J Slavens Cambodia Phnom Penh

Elder Chancellor J Slavens Idaho Twin Falls

Sunday, September 25, 2016

Loaves and Fishes Upgrade: Rice and Noodles

The church's history in Cambodia. Brought to you by a Cambodian woman. I wish I knew Cambodian. Then I could tell you what it says. But I don't. 

You wanna hear what happened this week? I'll tell you what happened this week! 


Yet everything... 

It all started with an idea. That is how it always starts. An Idea. The Idea was: Zone Unity. Missionaries are broke up into units called zones. There are like 25 people in a zone. And the zone I am in consists of American people, Cambodian people, and Vietnamese people. We are the only zone with Vietnamese people. They don't know Cambodian. The Cambodians don't know Vietnamese. How in the monkey's butt are you supposed to make them be friends?!?!?!? 

I'll give you a hint. 

Yogurt lids+origami+flonkerton= OLYMPICS 

So we did the Olympics. We downloaded the song and put it on repeat the whole day. We had games such as "Vegetable derby racing" and "eat a doughnut on a string" and "water balloon volleyball" and "human foosball" and much much more. We had an opening and closing ceremony. There was even a miracle. We didn't bring enough food for the lunch, but then somehow everyone was full. 

Then for the rest of the week we built a house for a lady in our branch who has no legs. She scoots around everywhere on her butt. But the house she is in now has all the ledges she has to lunge over and junk, it's just way too hard for her. So we decided to fill her house up to get rid of the ledges. No more ledges! It took forever. But is was way funner the funnest. 

Bey Bey

The opening ceremonies (The tilde over the E is for style)  

First there was a human tunnel

Then on with the games! First was the vegetable derby

Then a High School Musical roller coaster 


I wish we had pine wood

The team to get it down the ramp the fastest won! Each companionship represented one of the 25 provinces in Cambodia. 

This looks like a pokemon

This one had a little person in it

Remember in Shrek when they rode in that big onion carriage? 


​Water balloon volleyball

​Next was the mummy wrapping challenge! 

​And then a Cambodian game where you try not to laugh while saying animals names and not showing your teeth, and if you re-name an animal or you laugh or show your teeth, you get SLAPPED IN THE FACE with baby powder 

​And then the doughnut eating competition 

​And then the closing ceremonies 

And then we met some weird dudes

And then we tried to visit this lady's family, but her house flooded 

​They had to bring in a boat

This is Elder Hale. He lives in my house. And he convinced all these kids that he could actually rip off one of his thumbs. And they all tried to do it too. They asked me to pull on their fingers as hard as I could until it came off.  

They dumped the dirt to build the legless lady's house in the middle of the street lawl 

And then child labor was a great idea 

Her is her house and herself in all her legless glory 

Our branch president (Michael Scott) cutting a tile 


Check out how deep the water is up to her legs inside her own house 


Sunday, September 18, 2016

Dirty Jobs with Mike Rowe

Listen to the beginning of this week

At first I tried to get some lady to tailor some shirts I had. She said she needed half an hour. I gave her an hour. When I went back, she said, "wait, I left them in my house, I'll go get them" so I sat there as she went to her house, got my shirts, came back, and the sewed them because she took them home and didn't sew them, just put them on the floor. 

Then I found a hat that had been lost or 3 weeks, but then it fell out of my bag as I was riding my bag. Luckily, a nice citizen told me in his broken English that I dropped my hat. So as I turned around to go get it, I watched a guy kick it up onto his moto with his foot and drive away with it. Dang it. 

Then as I was walking down the stairs my Birkenstocks exploded. 

 Then a kid (who was 6 years old, so it was kinda cute) threw rocks at us because we were trying to teach his parents. But that one was more cute than bad. 

But the week all was made better when I watched a dude birth a pig. Meaning he pulled a Mike Rowe and got down and dirty to help this pig birth 12 piglets. SO MANY PICTURES. But they are extremely graphic. Email me if you want to see them. 



Would you trust one of the fish they caught? 

That was in one humans stomach. I mean pig. But it will be in one humans stomach when I eat them all 

She's ready to burst

I saw a dude help a pig give birth this week.

How to pick fruit

How to watch a guy chop wood 

How to Loco Moco

​How to watch someone chop wood 

How to watch them dip watch them nae nae 

We had a really long ride 

And I got really bored

​And there was no one on the street 

So I made flash cards (while riding my bike) and then memorized them all 

​We had to climb up on a bridge to cross it 

How to be super stoked when your son finishes his mission

How to be a thoog 

How to wear a really tight shirt when you do service 

​See you next week