Walking in the grass is so fine you don't need shoes in the summer time

Hey y'all. So I haven't gotten any questions emailed to me about life in Cambodia, so instead I will answer the questions yelled at me by Cambodians in their houses as I ride by on my bike and they want to practice English: 

-"Hello! Hi bye bye?" -Hello

-"Where you go?" -I go home 

-"How are you?" -I'm fine, thanks, and you? 

-"What your name my name is?" -My name Elder 

-"What your first name?" -Classified. I go by Elder now.

-"What your phone number?" -Why do you want to know? 

-"Hello everybody, let's go?" -Ok?

I tried to ask back once. I said "Hello how are you?" and she said "I am eleven years old." So I quit trying after that. 

I went on an exchange, which means you switch companions for a day, with another Elder whose name is Elder Hall. My current companions name is Elder Hall also. MY LIFE IS COMPLETE! 

Also I got attacked by a crazy lady this week. We were riding our bikes to go teach someone, and on the way I heard a crazy lady yell hello to me, but I just kept going. Well, we got the the house of the person we wanted to meet, and within 5 to 7 minutes, the same crazy lady rolled up on her bike. And she CHARGED ME. She kept grabbing me and asking me to hug her and kiss her. Then she asked if I knew Korean. Then she took my pen, and wrote code on my hand. It was just a ton of numbers. She told me I was her son, and that because I was her son I needed to give her money. 

This week Elder Hall and I were talking to random people about the church, then we saw a car stuck in the mud off in the distance. So we rushed to aid! We had to push while they tried to drive the car out of the mud. I was flipping through all my car knowledge I have learned from the Mont over the years, and all my survival knowledge Bear Grylls has taught me, but I came up empty handed. We couldn't help them get the car out of the mud. It is probably still there lol. 

This week Elder Hall, and our whole mission, has been GOING HARD on talking to people on the streets and inviting them to learn with us. And Elder Hall and I have found the perfect technique: If you just stand on the sidewalk, and someone starts to drive by on their moto, you just have to wave at them and walk in the direction that they are going, they WILL stop to talk to you. I am not sure why, and I know this wouldn't work in America, but it works here! And we have found some people who are willing to hear what we have to teach. I'll keep you updated if any of them are cool. Or if any of them are crazy. Loves you guys. Have a swag Christmas.

Love, Elder (It's a good day for Elder)  

CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT! 

DOOOOOOOOOOG! Sitting like a human! 

CHHHHHIIICCCKKKEEEENNNNNNN!!!!!!

THEY ALWAYS WEAR MY HELMET!

GRASS AND TREES! 

SORCERY! 

WHAT THE CRAZY LADY WROTE ON MY HAND! 

THEY LOVE TO SHAKE HANDS! 

TREE!

FISHING!

WE TRIED OUT TO BE ON THE VOICE! 

And to finish off... look it how strange the dogs in this country look. Just a wild pack of dogs. They look so strange! 

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B66MqalmSnC4eWY2T0xtTXptUms/view?usp=sharing

It smells like fettuccine up in here

I didn't write down any notes of what happened this week, so I am just going to write everything that pops into my head. EVERYTHING. 

So we moved houses this week. Our old house was stinky and gross and had rats every where and my mission president felt really bad for us. So he moved us to a new house. IT IS SO SWAG. There are 3 companion ships of Elders in my new house, and we are all party animals.

Elder Hall and I talked to straight up 100 random people about our church this week on the road. I would just carry a Book of Mormon with me, and when i rode up to talk to someone, I would just ask them if they have ever seen the book before. In the Buddhist religion, only the monks get scripture. So the fact that we can all have the scripture is cool to them. ALSO we just tell them they can pray about it, and know it is true. They don't even have to believe us as the messengers. Sometimes they like it. Sometimes they just want me to go away. 

Our investigator who was super into alcohol stopped drinking. But then he got super sick. And then he healed. And then he asked me for money, and I am 100% positive it was so he could go buy alcohol, because his wife, who is a member of our church already, won't give him money. He is so awesome. 

Also I literally can't think of anything else. I just have so much fun everyday, I just CAN'T #uhWHAAAAAAT Also no one emailed me any questions about my mission so I have nothing to report based on your questions. 

dally_face

​crank it- LOUDER! 

​Too much snail turd! 

​Cambodia is the land of drunk babies 

#caughtslippin

​You think people here are poor and then all of the sudden you show up to their houses 

and they bought a claw thing from Japan 

​Elder Hall 

​A chicken laid eggs on a roof, and a kid climbed up and harvested them 

Riding hard

Me and a new chicken

Ok, check out this weird Cambodian bird. Cambodia has the weirdest birds. 

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B7xZnzSL5JQkYzlnZE1rVk1TOUE/view?usp=sharing

Today feels like its gonna be a great daaaaaaaay!

Hi

This week rocked. We got 2 baptisms last week, and 2 more this week. But I learned that my favorite part about teaching someone that gets baptized is that you have to fill out baptismal information. There is a sheet that you have to fill out and you need all sorts of information and stuff. And the other best part is that Cambodia is not really the best place for keeping records of things. So it gets really confusing. So we asked our guy when his wife was born. And he looks at his records, his eyes get all wide, and then he runs his hands through his hair, looks up at us, gives a nervous little giggle, and says "whelp, she was born in 2000" and looks back down. HE DIDN'T KNOW THAT HIS WIFE WAS ONLY 15!!!!! But then we were like, there is no way and checked again and he was looking at the wrong records. She is really 22. But Cambodian people are so good at going with the flow, that if they find out their wife is only 15 years old, they don't sweat. They just go with it and laugh it off. 

All of our peeps that got baptized gave us referrals for their friends and family that need to learn about the church. So now we's gots more peeps to teach. 

Also someones bike got a flat tire, so we chained it to a bamboo and trudged on, sharing bikes. We decided we would come back for it. We came back for it, and some one had cut the bamboo tree and stole the bike L O L. Didn't see that one coming. 

I've got nothing else people. If there is anything you are wondering about me, go ahead and email me and ask and I will write about it next week. 

​Had a family home evening with some peeps

​Then I took a picture in the dark

​Then some people were leaving our area so we took a picture

​Then I rode my bike with Elder Ros (he is so cute)

​Then I was drinking water

​Then I was frolicking through the flowers

​Then we did some service. Lifted some wood and stuff. 

​Then I wanted to go watch this movie but I didn't

​Then our super cute investigators got baptized. The one who has had like 100 dreams about how cool our church is. 

​and Elder Hall was too tall tee hee

Who needs a girlfriend when you have good friends?

So what up? 

Ok. Me neither. I am just sitting here emailing. Wanna go hang out and get a burger or a subway sandwich or a cup of the worlds best cup of coffee?

Well no. I am here. So go on without me. See ya later. 

So this week started and it was one of those wacky Cambodian holidays that just kinda pop out of no where, and it causes us to have no one to meet for a couple days. So we were told to stay in our house and deep clean. Well for those 2 deep cleaning days, I was SUUUUUPER sick. It was the first time I have been sick on my mission! I would say i was going to go clean the upstairs, and then I would lay on the floor and fall asleep because I was exhausted. And then people would walk up, and I would wake up and try and make it look like I was scrubbing the floor. It was a real bad 2 days. But I fainted! I was walking up the stairs, everything went dark, so I burst into my room and crashed to the floor, only in time to take a shelf with me. I WISH I GO PRO'D MY WHOLE MISSION!

Elder Hall and I have also biked into 2 cock fights during my time here in Kampong Cham. They are super illegal here so it is super funny to bike in on. Every one thinks because we are white, we have power, and we are gonna shut them down. But I just want to watch! 

And we had 2 investigators get baptized! They are awesome! I love them. There are a million pictures of it because one of the kids there stole my camera and took pictures of the whole thing. 

Not much more, man. I wish I had more, man. 

I love you, man.

ELder SLavens

I am pondering! 

​I am in a thing of sweetened condensed milk! 

So much cash money $$$

https://drive.google.com/folderview?id=0B7xZnzSL5JQkblZMY2t4Y0JpMTg&usp=sharing

Robert Goulet- It's a rap!

Howdy y'all! 

The stars at night! Are big and bright! *clap* *clap* *clap* *clap* DEEP IN THE HEART OF TEXAS!

I am super sick today. It is my first time getting sick on my mission. And it is every one else's fault because no one told me that I should be drinking more water. Now I am all dehydrated and crap. 

Since I just want to die we are gonna make this one fast. On Monday Elder Hall and I went and stalked our investigator who can't stop drinking. We go to his house every day and try and catch him in the act of chugging down the good stuff. On Monday we went and got haircuts with him in a shack in the middle of no where and then we got lunch. 

Then we got to watch conference. The GENERAL one. It was awesome. Since I am out in the boonies, we were about to watch it on a little portable DVD player that had no visual. But then a member with a TV invited us over to watch it at their house. Let me tell you what I have decided to do after watching conference:

I have decided the next step in my life is to never ever for the rest of my life say anything negative ever again. I figure it will make me happy. So say good bye to the old negative Elder Slavens! Sorry if you liked him.... 

I'm all out of words, people. Nothing more to say. I want to wish a very happy birthday to the new Target that opened up on October 9th in San Ramon. A special place in my heart. 

Bye. 

There was once a day this week when I saw lighting strike 5 feet from me during a wacky storm! 

​Frolicking through the flowers 

​

​Hospital? Trash can. 

https://drive.google.com/folderview?id=0B7xZnzSL5JQkTFFuN2dGc0FaVDA&usp=sharing

But first, let me take a selfie

Once again, people. I am just going to write this email as the events happened, with no organization what so ever. Easily, it is the way this emailing thing was supposed to be. It's punctual. PUNCTUAL! 

So we have gone crazy hard in our area. Kampong Cham, man. It is where dreams are made. And Elder Hall is as cool as a segway. That is no over-exaggeration. 

But now I want to tell HOW we have gone hard. Literally, you wouldn't think that ACTUALLY trying to change people's lives on a mission is hard, but it really is, man! It is hard to look at these people we teach, and be like "I am going to do EVERYTHING I can do to help you be a better person." And that is what Elder Hall and I have done this week. We have one person who has been meeting with Missionaries for THREE YEARS and hasn't been baptized like his wife because he drinks literally every second of every day. He is so drunk. And 3 separate lessons with us, he has born solemn testimony that "Yorgash Shcmite" (how he says Joseph Smith) comes from 1.)Australia and then the next lesson he says that he was 2.)Italian and then he said that he would swear on his life that Joseph Smith is 3.) British. So he is super drunk. So Elder Hall and I are going to his house EVERY DAY to stop him from drinking. Today, after I finish emailing, I am going to hang out with a 40 year old drunk dude to help him be sober and change his life. And his wife is so excited. 

We have another investigator who I think I wrote about before who reads his scriptures every day and highlights everything and asks us questions every time we go to his house. Dude, I just can't believe how many investigators we have, people who REALLY want to learn about the church, and how amazing they all are! I can't even tell you all all of the stories I have! Just wait 2 years and I will tell you in person. 

Also I have a disaster I would like to report. Elder Hall and I were riding our bikes. And I was signing "I will follow him" to my maximum capacity. And i was getting so into it, that my foot slips from my bike pedal and flies right into Elder Hall's bike spokes as he is going full speed. So my foot just gets destroyed and Elder Hall flips over his bike and crashes to the floor, and it was one of the best crashes ever. 

So to finish my email, I would like to tell you the dream I had one week ago. A dream for man kind. A dream for destiny. I dreamed that I would name my email "but first, let me take a selfie"  and have a selfie for EVERY DAY of the week. So enjoy. The selfie song is so stuck in my head. Enjoy your lives. 

Live long and prosper 

Elder Doorhandle Slaveface

Monday. Not even a selfie. But did you even think to pray? 

Tuesday. We had district meeting. And if you watch the video on the link, 

you will see one of the elders in this circle eat something NASTY. 

​Wednesday. I went on an exchange with THE Elder Johnny Ros. He is number one. 

I never took more selfies than on that day. 

Thursday. I let Elder Hall be the one to take the selfie. 

Friday. I found one of those giant beetles that was on Animal Planet's: The Most Extreme. 

Saturday. Kids. 

Sunday. Headin home after a long days work. 

"for more selfie adventures, check out this sweet link" 

https://drive.google.com/folderview?id=0B7xZnzSL5JQkYm5pSFBxM2FRQVU&usp=sharing

Larping, dude i kill you, sorta

This week was a week. 

It all started when Elder Hall and I were asked if we could teach someone. There is a family here who are members already, but their son is not yet a member. And he was 9. So the rule is, if you miss getting baptized when you are 8, then you have to get taught by the stinky, ugly, stupid elders. So we were like "here we come!" So we planned on teaching this kid. But then we get there, and want to double check his age. So we do. Turns out he was really 8! So they forgot to get their son baptized when he was "8", but then it turns out he wasn't even 8, so we don't have to teach him! BUT, there was another member of that family who was 20 and married into that family, so we are teaching him now, and he is SWEEEEEET. 

He came to church on Sunday, but all of our 3 other investigators didn't come because one didn't have a helmet and didn't want to get caught by the police and pay $2, and the other couldn't find a pair of pants. So remember to find your helmets and pants on Saturday, people. It'll make getting to church on Sunday a whole ton easier. 

Not much more this week. Sorry guys. I don't eve nhave good pictures this week. I have failed you all. 

BUT. My camera was stolen by a 8 year old girl who i call "Baby Monkey" and she took model pictures. So that is sweet. 

Love you all. 

So I decided to try modeling too. What do you think?

https://drive.google.com/folderview?id=0B7xZnzSL5JQkY1o1MFNsdGVxdUk&usp=sharing