Hello. Is it me you're looking for?

How many dang weddings do I have to sing at on my mission? I sang at another one this week. It was a couple missionaries and some youth. No words I type can describe the things that happen at a Cambodian wedding.You'll all just have to wait until I get married and have a Cambodian style wedding to see it. I'll bring the Cambodia to you. Let's just say it always includes KFC as the food served. 

This week was full of trying to find old members who have stopped coming to church. We have records of member with maps to their houses that we follow until we find their house. Well this one map I could hardly read, so we were asking people on the road where we should go based on the address. And they lead us to some official government building. Where they took us in, and called a couple village presidents to find the address we had written down. I felt like Tom Cruise. 

This week was my last week with Elder Joseph Grimaud. He's outta here. He's leaving me in the dust. Now I am getting my very first Cambodian companion. That's right, folks. My next companion is named Elder Miah. He is from Cambodia, but I hear he's also lived in Thailand. What a coincidence because so have I! So we'll get along great. We have so much in common already! 

Actually, basically no one who I will be serving with or around is American. They are all Cambodian. So that is gonna be way fun. They know how to party. 

Love you, peeps. 

Slavens

My girlfriend. 

This is the crumb cake my mom sent me that we always eat every Sunday. Tastes 10x better in Cambodia. 

Wedding

Frog stir-fry. 

I named this kids extra thumb Trenton. 

​

I then I made Trenton shake my hand. 

This cute old guy who has to read with the book basically inside his face. 

​Oreo pudding.

Goodbye my lover. Goodbye my friend. You have been the one. You have been the one for me. 

Mummy.

 https://drive.google.com/file/d/0ByelKyvCEuEXNWVOVVkzQ1dqWDA/view?usp=sharing

He ain't heavy, he's my brother

This week started with a cook off. 

That's right, a cook off. David Bowie was the judge. 

A family had us over for dinner Monday night, and they made spaghetti. For a Cambodian, that is an incredible feat. 

One of the Cambodian Sister missionaries has started calling me "Snake Man" because she says I have snake eyes, and she cannot trust me. She says she hates my eyes because they make me look like Edward from Twilight. I think that's pretty good. That Edward is a tall drink of water.

Remember the blind guy I talked about a while ago? We went and cleaned his house? Well on Sunday at church, we were sitting there in sacrament meeting, when all of the sudden the dividing doors between us and the gym start shaking. Elder Grimaud and I go to tell the kids playing on the other side of the door to stop playing with it. But to our surprise, it was not a group of mischievous kids. It was one lone blind man in the room by himself. He was being led, and the guy leading him had to go to the bathroom, so he dropped the blind guy off in a random room. And then forgot about him. So we found him trying to find his way to civilization. He has a a great heart. He laughed it off hahahahhaha.

I went on an exchange this week, meaning I got to go into another missionaries area. While doing so, we found a lady with her arm in a pile of poop. She was trying to unclog a drain. I really wanted to help. I also really wanted to remain poop-free. It was a dilemma. 

We moved houses this week. Same area I work in, same companion, just a new house. Our new house is like a five star American condo. There is a pool on the top floor. A POOL. Cambodian doesn't even HAVE a word for pool because they are so fancy! But while we were moving, we were listening to music. And there was one song Elder Grimaud showed me that basically made me cry every time I heard it. It is about missionary work and what we do. So I thought I'd put it out there for all of you to enjoy. And probably cry. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yr5Kzy4FF1g

Speaking of music, I hear there is a new song out there on iTunes and Spotify called "Beats for Us" that is ok. Maybe you should listen to that too. 

Over and out. 

Hello, this is Elder Slavens. How may I help you? 

The rise of the blood red sun. All hail. 

Moving houses and improving my character as I become as mysterious as the dark side of the moon. 

My sleeping conditions. 

R,i'di',ng', o'u'r, b,i'k,e,'s!

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaand the pile of poop. It's that grey stuff right there. You should smell it. If you don't know what I am talking about because you were too lazy to read my email, SCROLL BACK UP AND READ IT. 

Two One. His name is Two One. He is SO COOL! 

Valentines day, baby 

https://drive.google.com/folderview?id=0ByelKyvCEuEXSmtvQlpMNWVlenc&usp=sharing

Brian by Brian. Precept by precept.

Whaddup all y'alls fools? 

This week marks the beginning of Chinese New Year. As in it starts today. I am not 100% sure why it is a big deal here since I am not in China, but it is a big deal. Everyone has picked up all the belongings and fled to the boarders of Cambodia to celebrate this Chinese holiday with their families out in the provinces. And if you remember, I am now in the HEART of this country. I am in the big city now, baby. Which means this upcoming week might not have much going on. 

But the week I just had was kool! We had a big meeting with our mission president. He is kool. He taught us how to study the scriptures better. 

We had a Sunday school lesson in church about this new Planet X that has life on it? I wanna go! Sign me up. I've seen Interstellar. I know how this stuff works. 

We're trying hard to make progress with our dude Two One. I love the STRUGGLE of trying to help him fix his life! IT IS SO FUN! Seriously like a human puzzle. We've got this other guy we meet named David. He tried fasting which is impressive. I want to be like him when I grow up. 

That's all I got. I'll catch you all on the flippity flip.

Suzi got a paint job and came for a visit

We ate some Mexican food

Elder Grimaud taught our guy how to tie a tie

These kids watched some TV

​

We celebrated another year on Earth

She ate some cake

I got a new bike seat that is way too big (it is for motos) 

This girl said hello 

This guy could ride his bike with no handle bars and no legs too 

​

These chickens were unsure of their futures 

This toilet had seen the end of its days 

I won 6 points at the sun stare 

https://drive.google.com/folderview?id=0ByelKyvCEuEXUTg2TGo5T0xKWEE&usp=sharing

Hello. My name's Forrest. Forrest Gump. Would you like a chocolate?

This week a member in our ward down here in the land down under saw a picture of my father, the master of pool covers, Mont Blanc, and she said "Oh, I just LOVE when he speaks in general conference. Always so inspiring!" She thought he was an apostle hee hee hee

We cleaned a blind dudes house for service. He just stood there in the middle of the room and just kept saying, "lol, I wish I could help, but I'm BLIND! Sorry, guys." It was kind of like in Anchorman 2, minus the part where we go out to the ocean and set the pet shark Mobi free. 

In our teaching this week, we were ruthless. Anyone who told us they couldn't go to church or follow any other rule because of a job or schooling, we just told them to get a new job or go to a different school. I know it sounds weird, but when you look at it from a "you'll for sure receive blessings if you follow 100%" stand point, it makes more sense. I love telling people to quit their jobs. Sounds rough, but I don't know anyone who has followed the advice and HASN'T had more success. Go team! 

We had more and more people just show up randomly at the church telling us they wanted to learn. Really weird. I like it. 

We met with a new-ish member of the church, and he quoted Forrest Gump. He even did the Forest Gump voice! I was blown away! He knows English really well, and said Forrest Gump inspired him to ride his bike around Cambodia, so he did. He just started biking! And then, just like in the movie, someone joined in. Then 2 more people. Then 3 more. Then 5 more. All of the sudden, there was a whole group of 'em! JUST LIKE THE MOVIE! And I'm not sure how, but all of the sudden there was hundreds of thousands of dollars being donated to a hospital. So I teach Forrest Gump. 

We have a cool investigator who's actual real name is "Two One". Hahahhah He is so cool. He is 18 and started by learning in our English class, and then came up to us and told us he wanted to learn. We have taught him everything that a missionary teaches someone before they get baptized, but he doesn't want to get baptized yet. AND LISTEN WHY. He wants to be ready! How cool is that? He started learning with us even though his family is Buddhist, he has a sister in a different Christian church, and all his friends make fun of him for it. He comes to church all alone, sits alone (except for us) and then goes home. But he really really believes it. So he studies super hard and really tries to apply what we teach him. Unlike all the people I have ever taught who got baptized, this guy is not so easy. He doesn't have family or friends in the church. He's flying solo. We're trying our hardest with him. We're trying to hook him up with the sister's investigator so that they'll have a special love. 

Bye.

Come, take my hand. We'll walk this road together. 

Me eating stuff. A whole bowl of it. 

Cleaning the blind dude's house. 

She is the mattress queen. Young and sweet, only seventeen. 

A tree that proselytes Jesus. 

Cleaning the train tracks 

The one in the middle is Elder Ey. He is going to serve in the California, Oakland/San Francisco mission. If any of you see him, tell him I say yo. 

https://drive.google.com/folderview?id=0B66MqalmSnC4Mjc4enJBZWF6WjQ&usp=sharing

I ain't callin' you a TRUTHER!

I hit my year mark. 

So to celebrate I ate a large Dominoes pizza. Cambodia has Dominoes. Elder Grimaud and I ordered Dominoes delivery late into the night. And to top it off, we had a movie night. We watched "Together Forever", probably one of the best church movies I have ever seen. There were 90's mustaches in that movie bigger and thicker than Dave Crinnion's dad's mustache. I was just high on the college life. 

But that's not why I am here. 

I am here to party HARDCORE! On Saturday, all we did was party. Both the wards that Elder Grimaud and I serve in had parties planned for Saturday. So we partied all day long.  But don't worry, we took a break to have the baptism of our investigator. 

His name is Suu. Rhymes with Cindy Lou Who. He knows English 100%. His girlfriend knows English 100%. She served a mission in this country in 2006. Do you guys see the pattern how anyone I have seen get baptized in this country came from friends and family of members? I literally haven't done anything my whole mission.  

Suu's nickname is hobo. He learned really fast because he had a lot of faith and trust at the beginning. I love hobo. Hobo's profession: he is a mushroom farmer LAWL. Mushrooms! I think I've broken something... Him and his GF bought Elder Grimaud and I pants. There is no greater sign of love than a new pair of pants.

We tried to do some service and clean this part of our area that has a ton of people living on some old train tracks, but they got mad. In that neck of the woods, you can't see the floor because there is so much trash on the floor, and I guess that as we took their trash and threw it away for them, they said they make their money by selling that trash. WHO THE HECK BUYS TRASH?! I lol'd and then was like, "Ok, we won't clean your trash anymore. Sorry". 

To finish the week, I saw God's hand help me out a little bit. I was riding my back, and a dude pulled up to me on his moto. I looked at him and started talking. I asked him if he knew our church. He was like, "Yah, I want to learn!" and so we pulled over. He told me that before Christmas, some person named "Slavens" talked to him about Christianity, and he really wanted to learn. But the card that Slavens gave him with Slavens phone number got erased over time! So he couldn't learn! But then I was like, "DUDE! Do you know my name?" He said, "what is it?" 

"My name is Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson"

JK I told him my name was Slavens! He freaked out! God just gave him right back to me to teach him! So he is learning with us now. Cool, huh? I love doing missionary work. Helps me to see the reality in God and his church more and more everyday. Especially when there are random dude-men who know my name and say they have been looking for me so they can learn about this specific church. Crazy, huh?! I LOVE IT! 

And, yah. 

My Cambodian mother who sells me meat that I buy every Monday morning to eat while I email. 

Having my first real burger in a year. When will my life begin? 

The cleanest spot on the train tracks 

Teaching and preaching and weaching and sneezing 

Eating barbecue we made and drinking an American diet coke my mom sent me to celebrate my year mark. I hated the diet coke. Its lack of sugar compared to normal coke was depressing. I truly am a changed man. 

P.A.N.T.S. and Suu and his GF Lida

Turn down for what 

Can you imagine how many channels these people probably get? 

​Suu: "GO WEB, GO!" 

Suu and Lida bein FRESH

Suu and company 

https://www.dropbox.com/s/haaapwy3vm5p2am/OB%20LATHAM%20POOLS.mov?dl=0

https://drive.google.com/folderview?id=0B66MqalmSnC4RW5ybDRvYkhWV1E&usp=sharing

Taco Tuesdays.

HOLA COMO ESTAS? Muy Bien! Como te gato elle trandedandes. 

In Cambodian, that translates to "Would you like to learn about the gospel of Jesus Christ, sir?"

This week one of our investigators got baptized. His name sounds very similar to Udon noodles. But it is Udom. His mom was just baptized into this church 4 months ago, and lead all of her children to this church because she loves it so much. But her son, Udom, who is the oldest, didn't like it. He is more of the rock n' roll type. He used to live in Thailand. Whenever a story being told by a Cambodian starts with "back in Thailand..." or  "When I lived in Thailand..." you know it is going to be bad. Because the people in this country don't just run to Thailand to do nothing. So he has had a crazy life. But then, just like that, he randomly asks us if we'll teach him. We don't know what made him have the change to want to learn. It happened before I got here. But alls I know is that he is way cool. He doesn't even know how to read Cambodian. He only read in Thai. So that made lessons fun. But this last week he got baptized. He had to get interviewed to get baptized, and he didn't have anything to ride to the church to get interviewed, so we took him for a spin. 

His mom says that Udom was not the only child of hers who hasn't been baptized. There are more out there. She said she is going to call all of her children to come to the city where we are so they can learn. Her kids that are baptized say "what if they don't want to?" and she says "oh, they will want to. They will want to..." 

Also I met 2 guys this week whose line of work was literally guarding a car. Not a house, or work place. They guard a car. TWO GUYS! One car. And get this, their boss's official work title is "The one who watches the two guys who watch the car". To make sure they don't mess up. 

I went to my first Cambodian wedding this week. They are 3 days long. I went for an hour. And in that hour, ate an 8-course meal. Everyone dressed up and wore so much makeup, and there was live music. Just what a good party needs. 

Peace.

Rode a tuk tuk and went to the Cambodian Killing Fields. History, man. It's a thing. 

Got to do a headset tour. One day I'll make a headset tour of my life and you walk through my house and listen to me talk about my life. It will start and end in the bathroom. Then to leave you will stand in the toilet and flush yourself down into the Ministry of Magic. Because I am a wizard. 

I let a Cambodian listen to the headset with me, on one condition: 

He take pictures with me

I drew a picture of my favorite district leader ever, Elder "The Rock" Olson. 

My companions eyebrows are spectacular 

I like the way I look in my suit. He guaranteed I would. 

Udom before he was baptized 

Udom on his way to be interviewed to get baptized 

Udom gettin baptized yo 

The wedding and the one being wedded. 

We'll finish off this email sesh with my new favorite album. Takes me back to the frosted tips days #Frosty #Pukashellzzz 

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B66MqalmSnC4N2xKam9NSzJUTHc/view?usp=sharing