Boots and Cats and Boots and Cats and Boots and Cats and Boots and Cats and Boots and Cats

You know I'm running out of ideas when I put a subject line like that. But no matter, I am not here to come up with clever subject lines, I am here to preach repentance unto the gentiles so izall good.

Finah-frickin-nitly I'm not sick anymore! And neither is my companion! So we hit the ground HARD this week and ran like crazy to make up for lost time. And it paid off, suckas. Good things come to those who wait - no, endure. So chill. Aight, check it. There's this young woman in our ward who was baptized last year, and over the course of time her younger sister and brother have become interested in what her church is all about and stuff. So this young woman came and grabbed us and told us it's time to teach her siblings and baptize them! Woot woot! So we had our first appointment with them this week and it was super dope home boy from the Oak town. They accepted the message like it was donuts and have set baptismal dates for the 6th of June! Their names are Bailey and Zander and I'll probably be discussing them a bit more in the future. 

Hermmmmmm oh yeah! Other than that we have like a bunch of people who are super lukewarm and it's hecksa frustrating so we're 'bout to take it up a notch. We have plans to go visit everyone who's not progressing and be super real with them about our purpose. If they're not down, we're gonna drop it like it's hot. So we're excited about that 'cause either they'll start progressing or we'll have more time to focus on people who really wanna know about Jesus! And with such little time left on my mission I'm really trying to put a big focus on what's most important.

I have made a challenge with myself to span the final few weeks of my mission. I have entered my final transfer as a missionary, and in a crazy act of super-obedience/for funzies I have decided to listen to nothing but MoTab for the last 6 weeks I'm here. I have no idea what the result will be - I may be exalted before I get home or I may have become completely insane. Perhaps a combination of the two. Anyway that will be fun.

Hokay I think that's good for now I love you all from the deepest bottomest part of my corazon and I wish upon you nothing but smiles and joy and magic. Keep it real errbahdy.

Elder Slavens 

Now we're gonna let the talking CHEESE preach to us!

This week, I would like to start my email a little differently. I want to start it special for a special someone. This week was the FIFTIETH birthday of Mont Blanc/The Mont/The Full Monte/I'll make a Mont out of you Monte Slavens. Therefore, I would like to tell any young women to STAY AWAY from him! He is 50 now. Automatically irresistible! So no going near him. 

Lessons this week have been awesome. We have been trying to visit more recent converts to the church to help them grow their faith, and it is basically the best decision ever. We are blessed with unforgettable moments. One house we went to, there is usually just one old guy there alone, but this time we pull up and there is a party of 20 guys, with pumpin Cambodian music, who look at us and yell "HELLO!!!! COME IN!!!" It was just a big circle of guys having a jolly old time. When they saw Americans, they turned "My Heart Will Go On" on repeat for us. My new song of choice. They kept making me dance. "Don't make me dance!" I kept saying. But they kept making me dance. They then asked us to explain about our church. So we taught 20 men who were under the influence. Showed them what it was like to be above the influence. It ended up being one of my favorite lessons. The old guy next to me just took a rag and stuck it on his face while we were talking and started dancing. He said he loved me. 

In another lesson, we went to go teach someone new. He was excited to discuss religion with us. He was excited because he had a church of his own to discuss. His church was him an his family, and he asked us to call him "Marco", his spirit name. He didn't say thank you or goodbye. Only Amen. It was the best thing ever. This was a corndog cult, for sure. I barely made it out with my life. 

Our best lessons were the ones where friends and family of the recent converts came to join in, giving us more people to teach! So now we have a ton of people who want to learn from us, and they are all Cambodian. It is a treat for all. 

I have gotten to learn a lot about the culture this week. Mainly from accidentally offending people. But if Miley Cyrus has taught me anything, then I know that nobody is perfect, so I got to work it. The best cultural aspect is that the head is the most sacred part of the body. And so, when it starts raining, everyone pulls out plastic bags and sticks them over their kids heads. In America, it wouldn't really fly. Here, it's rude if you don't. 

This week I would like to encourage you all to take a moment and enjoy and be thankful for what you have. Elder Elieson and I got a moment to just look at the stars and discuss the constellations of all the ogres. A lot of self reflecting. I encourage all to just take a second, and think of who you are. And who you can become. Think about it. 

Yours truly, 

Elder Forklift foot 

When my bike broke, the need for the selfie sick became much more prevalent. 

Eventually my butt started hurting, so I decided to stand. 

Our house is literally where you go if you want to die. 

They all were fighting over who could wear my helmet. Then they begged for candy. Then they ran away to go dance in the rain. 

AND IIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEIIIIIIIIIIII WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOOOOUUUUUUUU

PRECIOU$$$ 

This Was a Sick Week Too

For rillz man I'm done with all this sickness! Like probably 30 minutes after I sent my email last week I started feeling super off, and sure enough, by the end of the day I was dead in my bed. I was out of commission for about 4 days this week with the same stomach virus that Elder O'Bryant had picked up, the little stinker. It was pretty sketchy actually! I ended up losing like 8 pounds from it, which is way scary and super awesome at the same time. So I'm kinda taking it easy but feeling totally good now so we're about to hit the ground running and teach the masses and baptize all of 'em and yeah yeah yeah.

Despite the fact that I was dead this week, once I was feeling all better we actually saw a bunch of super dope stuff happen. We found a couple of ROCKSOLID families with kids who are super interested, so we're pumped to begin teaching them and see them make those choices that will lead them back to living with their Heavenly Father. At this point there ain't really any big deets to share, so I'll just leave it at that for now.

Mah laff is goooot. I'm digging my mission, and now that this is my last transfer I'm stoked to just go harrrrd and be the best I can before my time out here comes to a close! I love you all mucho!!

Elder Slavens

Feliz Cinco de Cuatro

Yo yo yo yo

I just skyped my family y'all. They are doin good. How are you? I am doin good? tooty toot too. 

So I have decided to take a poll. I have decided I want to immerse myself in the Cambodian culture more. So I am going to grow out one of my fingernails to unnatural lengths. But only one.The question goes as follows: Which fingernail should I grow out? That is all. Email your answers to dallin.slavens@myldsmail.net immediately, also followed by a selfie.

So this week like TOOOOONs happened. We saw crocodiles. Wow! Fun! The King of Cambodia came to Battambang. But also, like I said last week, so did Demi Lavoto. So... Are they the same? #SwitchedAtBirth  

Speaking of crocodiles there was a wacko rain storm and lightening was striking all around us (we almost got hit. I wanted it.) so I FINALLY got to wear my Crocs. HURRAY!!!! But yah, I almost died by being struck by mother natures curling iron. She was not happy. 

I fell on my bike again. It broke like real bad. So while it was in the shop for repairs and tender care I got to ride around on the back of my companions bike. He had to dope me around HA HA!!!!!! But jokes on me, I gave him buff legs. 

Elder Elieson and I spent a solid 10 minutes chasing around a chicken with some family. I couldn't tell if they needed the chicken, or if it was some weird, cruel game. I had fun with it. 

I hope this week for you all feels like you are weightless in the middles of the ocean, surrounded by a million tiny little seahorses. I know it will for me. That's just what happens when you serve the Cambodians. 

Love 4ever, 

Elder you CROC to be kidding me! 

Ps sorry for no pictures. They were really good this week, but I forgot my camera at my house. for sure selfies will be posted next week.

Mother's Day Skype

After weeks of planning we got it worked out that we could Skype 5:30 pm Sunday our time, 6:30 pm Sunday Chancellor's time and 7:30 am Monday Dallin's.  Well you can't really plan that well when you have someone in Cambodia.  We skyped with Chancellor as planned but Dallin never came on.  We tried to get Chancellor to let us Skype him again later when Dallin got on but he said no can do.  He is Mr. Rule Follower.  That's good I guess.  Turned out Dallin wasn't able to find an internet cafe open.  Then when he finally found one they didn't have cameras.  So they had to go on a hunt to buy a camera.  It all turned out in the end but we weren't able to Skype both together.  It was still great talking to and looking at both of them!  What a blessing it is having these two boys serving missions!  

We are so proud of them both!

This Was a Sick Week

BAHAHAHAHA I'm so funny. My subject line was a PUN! You see, it was literally a sick week. As in, my companion Elder O'Bryant was sick like all week. Which was a bummer. Now, it's not like he chose to get sick. So I in no way blame him for the sick week. I love him to death. Nevertheless, he did get sick, and thus, I kinda just sat around for most of this week while he chilled in bed to recover. I watched like all the videos with the Church logo on them imaginable, read a bunch out of the Old Testament (some pretty hysterical stuff to be found in there, by the way), and ate too much. I did try to set up a few appointments and split with other missionaries to get stuff done, but for the most part I was just chillin'.

So this week makes for a pretty boring email I guess. Sorry erruddy I dunno what to do 'bout that. One thing I did learn from all this, however, is how much it IS THE WORST to have to sit around as your mission is coming to a close! It's crunch time, people, I don't have much time left! So I gotta get out there and just teach as many people as I can about the good news, 'cause I don't get to do that 24/7 forever! Dang, that stinks. So I'll be keeping that in mind as time passes and try to get as much done as possible while I still can!

So that's my life. How's yours? Hope all is well. Have a good week and stuff!

Elder Slavens

We've been here before... We're going in circles!

The world is changing... I feel it in the water. I feel it in the earth. I smell it in the air... Elder Slavens must be becoming a stronger Elder day by day.

 

Yes. It is true. I am becoming more powerful. More powerful than ever. Not only my thighs. But spiritually as well.

Ok. So this week was just so cool. So dope, man. We had some really good lessons. In our English class this week, we taught all of our students "Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ATE 9!" and they didn't get it at all. In one lesson to this awesome family, one of the kids cut his hand on something, so he ran inside and came back with a needle and some thread. He then commenced to sew up his hand in the middle of the lesson. I want you all to imagine this other lesson we had. Imagine reading the scriptures with someone in their house, and then all of the sudden a cow walks in to the house, stares at you, burps, turns around, and leaves. Best lesson of my life. We have an investigator who is having a couple of troubles, but luckily we were able to get to his house and teach him. But it was really too bad his neighbor was getting married, because they had a huge party next door with music bumping so loud, that you couldn't hear yourself. What were the lyrics, you ask? Yup. The F word over and over again. But when you focus real hard, you can still feel the spirit. I promise.

 

Battambang has started stormin up somethin real good, recently. It gets super windy, and I almost get pushed off my bike, and when I open my eyes, I get a coating of dirt on my eyeballs. There's always a coating of dirt on my teeth now. But the best is when it starts raining. All the Cambodians put on their panchos and when they get going fast on their motos it looks like the swarm of dementors by the black lake in the Prisoner of Azkaban! The rain is INTENSE!! It's the best! The rats have definitely started trying to take cover too. You can hear them all the time above our ceiling tiles. One day a tile will brake and it's gonna be just like the scene in Ratatouille tee hee.

 

Do you all remember the investigator I told you about who said he had 4 wives, one more on the way, and then he just left and we never heard from him again? Well, he's back. Not back in Battambang. He just called us to let us know that he is going to the young single adults activity that is happening in the main city, Phnom Penh. So that's pretty cool he is still interested in the church! But I'm afraid he might leave the activity with a couple more wives... 5 isn't enough. He is seriously the man. I love all of our investigators and all the members. They are so crazy!

 

Being out here and teaching is so awesome! This week we had the oppurtunity to fast on Fast Sunday, and MAN was that special! When you have specific reasons for fasting it is way cool! You can see the miracles that comes from it. So next month, everyone should be fassting like crazy. I love you all! You are all my best friends! Stay fr3sh

 

Elder Slavens

PS you should all be jealous because Demi Lavato will be performing in Cambodia on May 5th. You can imagine how stoked I am.

An Elder who lived in the house I'm in before me left behind some treasures. I claimed every last one of them.

#iPhoneScreenSaver?

5 people on one moto is the record so far, I think. They're all pretty small, though. 

I'll keep you updated when I see more record breakers.

My dope zone