Dear Elder Slavens: My FATHER didn't STRUT... and nor do I

Well.... Well well well. Like I CAN'T EVEN RN!!!!!!!!!

Srsly folks, there are no words to describe this week. It has been the funniest week of my life. Not only because every morning when I wake up I forget that I am in Cambodia and no one speaks English until I walk outside of my door, but also I am 100% convinced someone is trying to kill me and make me fail.

There is no better way to describe the events of this week than your typical bullet point thing. So here we go:

1. So I lost our house key so a member had to come break our lock off with a big tree branch

2. Our phone dropped off my bed and broke so we had to buy a new one

3. We lost a butt ton of our contacts from the phone somehow

4. I was biking to a members house and some guy on a moped came up and hit me and I flew off my bike. All I could do was shout "SORRY!" in Cambodian. Worst part was I spilled all my water #THIRSTY

5. When I exchanged my money the clever Cambodian ladies tried to give me $40 less than what I gave them

6. While we were reading the scriptures with a family, some European dude (uggg... WHITE people...) walked up and starting yelling at us about how dumb we are for doing missionary work. His direct quote: "Have you ever stopped to think about what you are doing? Why don't stop what you are doing, find a corner, and think about what you are doing for 3 months!"

7. Mosquitoes eat me alive, so I'm pretty sure I have Malaria

8. I was at a recent converts house, and their dog came up and bit me on the hand. So I'm pretty sure I have rabies too

9. The Cambodian language

OK NOW STOP. Don't you DARE for one second think that missions are a bad idea. Because although I almost died a million times, I LLLLLLLLLOVED every second of it!!! I just laugh it all off and it is so dang fun and I love being here and helping people! We are helping to bring happiness into the lives of the people we serve and teach, and now I'm like the happiest ever! How, do you ask, will I show you this? WHY THROUGH BULLET POINT THING, OF COURSE!!!

1. The families and people here are the coolest. And they love when we come over to share the scriptures with them.

2. My companion is the coolest guy in the whole country of Cambodia

3. One night when we were biking home, a guy named Bantheng yelled at us to stop and he told us he really wanted to learn from the missionaries.

4. When we were eating breakfast once, we stopped and talked with this swag master named Sopat who knew nothing about our church, but when we asked if he wanted to learn about it on Saturday, he said "Can I learn from you guys on Sunday too?" ... Ummmm YES SIR. We have already taught him some. When we taught him, I was the one to ask him if we would be baptized! He said he wanted to find out if the church was true first. And I was like "go ahead, buddy". And he loved coming to church with us on Easter (PS Happy Easter everyone! Not even the members here know about Easter. No one talked about it in church. It was hilarious)

5. My companion, Elder Elieson, have perfected a burrito recipe from ingredients that we bought in some American-ish store

6. I just figured out I can type in different colors

7. The members here are wacko and everyone here is wacko and I love love love it

8. I can feel how the Lord blesses me and helps me help others

So before I end, I would just like to explain point 7 really fast. So on April first (which I don't know if April Fools had anything to do with this) we were visiting a members house, and she randomly asked us if we saw the sun today. "ummmmm I guess?" She was like "NO. There wasn't A sun today. There were FIVE! It's a sign of the second coming!" So we were like "what the heck? lawl" and left, but then throughout the day like 3 different people told us about the five suns. So I don't know if they were just pranking the Burangs, but if there was an above-average number of suns on April 1st, will someone let me know? Thank you

Yah, so basically this week was awesome. Just so crazy. We taught some real good lessons. Felt the spirit solid as a rock. And just got pumped again to finally be in Cambodia! PS!!! I heard Bangkok is getting a temple! THAT IS AWESOME!!! Bangkok is seriously RIGHT next to Battambang. So the members are pumped. I'm pumped. You are all awesome. Keep goin loco!

Love, always and forever, but still I love technology,

Elder Slavens (but as they call me here, Elder Shoe, Elder Banana, and Elder Hallelujah)

PS Send me letters, people. It's fun for all. It's free on dearelder.com

Elder (fill in the blank of a nickname) Slavens

Cambodia Phenom Penh Mission

House #2B, Street 222 off Norodom

P.O. Box 165, Phenom Penh, Cambodia